Let's get together and be awesome together. If you friend me, I'll friend you! I'm looking for a guy who "likes" Facebook as much as I do, a man who knows how to "comment" intelligently or emoticon me when I post photos of my pet cat, Muffy, which I do at least twelve times a day LOL. She's so cute and cuddly and does the darndest things!
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We must "share" our love for Facebook and never actually meet but make passionate love all night via "chat. My "feed" will always be open to you.
4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever
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Clinical psychologist reveals the five different ways of saying NO to everything Harry and Meghan's latest thank you card shows the dressed-down couple sheltering from the The captions on her photos were just as draped in red flags as her profile was, so there's no way they were totally clueless as to how awful she is, but sure, I figured, maybe she'd get a couple of messages a day from people with especially low reading comprehension.
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OK, I thought, pouring myself a stiff drink as I prepared to sift through these messages from actual, living men with functioning central nervous systems. Maybe none of them read her profile, or maybe they thought that she was fun-crazy instead of actually-ruin-your-life crazy.
The 16 Most Terrifying Dating Profiles Possible | aretmophana.tk
I just had to convince them that she was the latter. My new goal was to get these men to stop messaging her back.
I was going to make AaronCarterFan come across as so abhorrent that not even the kinds of dudes who comment on YouPorn videos would respond to her. Want to guess how well that worked?
2. A Convicted Sex Offender Scares Women Off
I'll give you a hint: I'm confiscating everyone's penis until further notice. In trying to convince these men that they're better than this, my first strategy was to just say horrible shit. These messages are natural extensions of her profile, confirmation that you do not, I repeat, do not want to know this woman.
OK, I get it. These men don't care about her personality; there is no lower limit to how deeply repulsive she can be on the inside, as long as she's hot. It's a bitter pill to swallow, sure, but I guess that's how it is.
But what if meeting her would have clear, lasting consequences? What if there was no such thing as a one-night stand with her? What if the effects of coming into contact with this woman were devastating and permanent?
I'll level with you, readers: This wasn't so much a tactic as it was a result of the mental and emotional toll this social experiment was taking on me. After reading messages from men who apparently had just slapped their semi-erect penis on their keyboard a few times and pressed "send," my already flimsy grasp on reality was loosening. Preparing response strategies and putting words into a coherent order wasn't an option for me anymore, so I decided to turn that into its own strategy.
I'd tried mean-crazy, I'd tried life-destroying-crazy; I might as well try crazy-crazy. There are any number of cynical conclusions I could draw from the results of this experiment. For example, I could extrapolate from my data that men have been so deeply socialized to value women solely on their appearance that many of them seem unable to take any other aspect of who she is, such as intelligence or capacity for self-reflection or suffocating douchiness, into account.
Or I could follow my first instinct as these messages began to roll in, which was to invest in a high-quality chastity belt and start collecting cats. But rather than follow these results into the darkness, I'll stay optimistic and instead offer an impassioned plea.