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In a more serious relationship, or a relationship that seems as though it has the potential to be serious, you may feel that you want to talk to your partner about your self-harm scars more in-depth. There is no easy to way to broach this subject, but it is for the wellbeing of your relationship.

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The good news, again, is that many people will respond with compassion , and respect you for having the courage to speak with them about it. Your partner only wants to know that you are okay now and that self-harm will not interfere with the relationship. How you approach the conversation is up to you, but it may be helpful to include the above concerns. All in all, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with yourself and whatever decisions you make.

SELF-HARM: Don't be ashamed of your scars

Your scars will always be more noticeable to you than to anyone else, so your comfort should always come first. The scars are only a part of you and your story, and so should only be a part of your love life. Mental health Sex Health features. Order by newest oldest recommendations. Show 25 25 50 All. Threads collapsed expanded unthreaded. They need a person to say "ill stick by you". Shipping them away and saying get help to them is saying "your a freak I think you need to be locked up". You do not reject them like that and that is how they will take it.


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They need to be treated like humans not monsters! Just becuase I will not abandon this kind of person deosnt mean Im child. Also if you want my age read it. You think a person like that needs no one? Some of them end up killing themselves?

“When Should I Tell Men About My Scars From Cutting?”

I do get the piont about not dating one who is not stable enough to get a lover though. Of course they need someone, like a therapist for example but certainly not a relationship. They are your lover, not your full time carer. How can a relationship work if they have broken down mentally and cannot give back? They'll only be able to take, as in taking help. Give and take has to be equal. You cannot give when you are in bad mental health.

Trust me, I've been there.

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That sounds very judgementel. Damaged is not worthless. Many if my freinds are like this and I love them the same! Self harmers are NOT self harmers forever. These things can be cured. Or still too young to? If you cannot put up a sensible, adult debate without your raging emotions getting in the way then I suggest this is not the site for you.

Self-Injury & Relationships | Scarleteen

I would not care, as they are obviously in need of someone to be there for them, but be careful, as breaking up with them could send them back to hurting themselves if they were stopping. I think it's fine. I have my own scars.

But there are actuall people out there who don't date someone who self harms. One guy I dated didn't know I hurt myself. He left me after he found out. It was wrong and it made no sense to me: It depends on why she did that, and if she still does it. I would be a little cautious at first, regardless. The scars that I could see would be no problem, the others deep inside we would have to deal with to have a relationship!

No one has ever had a problem with mine but I don't really like having them myself. I was a completely different person then and everyone that knows me now can't imagine my being that way so it's difficult to explain to people when they ask.

Yeah I think it's kind of weird. It's about feeling so completely depressed that you resort to hurting yourself to find some sort of release or comfort.